Chicken, chicken everywhere, and only peri-peri to drink

The Extra Hot Challenge was one I resigned myself to facing after my first day in Botswana. I’d never been to Nando’s before (though my roommate tells me they exist in Canada, and they are ubiquitous across Botswana and the region), but I got the immediate impression this restaurant was what Southern African food was all about: chicken. We’re not talking your standard roasted bird here—we are talking spicy. Peri-peri chilies, baby…they will make your mouth feel like it’s on fire.

I wasn’t ready to take the ultimate plunge and try the “Extra Hot” on Day 1 in country, but felt braver than my lunch companions (who meekly ordered “lemon herb” and “mild” chicken on their dishes). So I settled for the chicken strips on rice that was only rated “Hot”. By the end of the meal, my sinuses were cleared, and my stomach was feeling a little burn, but I made it through the experience relatively unscathed. I do love a good spicy sauce--before I left Botswana, I vowed to try the “Extra Hot”.

Peri-peri chicken is certainly not the only flavor of friendly fowl Botswana has to offer. They do love their chicken here. McDonalds doesn’t exist in Botswana, but KFC sure does. Apart from Nando’s several other fast food locales offer up chicken dishes: Chicken Licken; Bimbo’s (the name has kept me away from this one); the Hungry Lion (I did not know lions like chicken, but suppose it’s plausible). You can have chicken fried, baked, in a meat pie, on a salad…at the risk of sounding like Bubba in Forrest Gump on a chicken tear, let me just say, if you’re a vegetarian here, your options are slim, because the only big entrée option besides chicken is beef, or some part of the cow (oxtail), courtesy of Botswana’s many cattle ranches. Following my incident with a cow in northern Botswana, I’ve sworn off beef for awhile.

Last night, our friend, Kenneth, joined my roommate and I in paying an overdue visit to Nando’s. On the drive over, I spotted a combi with the phrase “More Fire” on the rear window—foreshadowing? I think so. I’m not in Bots too much longer, so figured this was my chance. Grilled Chicken Strips on Spicy Rice, please—Extra Hot Peri-Peri. And add a pineapple ring (I thought this might allay some of the pain) and a grapetiser (100% grape juice—so good!). As I waited for my dinner of flames, Kenneth asked me how the “hot” peri peri had tasted when I’d had that. My only response on offer was: “hot”…I suppose I knew what to expect from what was coming.

The dish came out, and I paused for a moment to mentally prepare myself before tucking in. The chicken was so spicy, I could smell the burn that was coming. I put some mild peri-peri sauce on the side. I thought it might neutralize the extra hot, but my roommate thought I was crazy—why would I add more spice? I took a bite. It took a second to sink in, but then—yup, definitely extra hot. After a few bites, I could feel my face heating up. I rationed my grapetiser and pineapple slices to the best of my ability, but to be honest, I’m feeling the burning sensation in my mouth and stomach all over again just writing about it. With a few minutes of steady progress though, I realized victory was in sight. I only had a few bites left on my plate, and I wasn’t dying yet. I definitely needed to blow my nose though. And my lips were roasting—lesson learned: don’t put on lip balm after eating spicy food. Yet, I survived relatively unscathed, minus the slight feeling of fire in my stomach following dinner. Here it is 15 hours later, and Montezuma’s Revenge hasn’t kicked in…yet. Next time I may have to up the ante and eat only a half chicken, with no neutralizers.